The semester has begun.  Student have returned to campus.  The air has begun to turn cooler.  Ah, fall!  This is the time of year that I live for!  Welcome back students!  Let's engage the world of ideas, learning and practice, not as consumers, but as God's people following our Lord into His work!  Let's be transformed into the fullness of who God has created us to be in the process of following Christ into academia!  Let's invite others on the journey! Let's transform the world because of our transformation as a community following Christ! It's that amazing.

And I'm certain that I heard this invitation from God when I was a student.  I'm certain God has called me to the cultivation of this work.

The trouble is that there's another dude who swears that he hears from God too.

I'm about to head into a meeting that troubles me, a meeting of Christian chaplains at NYU.  We gather, eat potluck (I'm making my five-alarm-three-bean-turkey-chilli), share, go over business, and pray intercession.  There's one dude who swears that he hears from God and that God is calling all of us to one specific action, which, if we do it, will bring the next Great Awakening.  Revival City. Fireworks and wild conversions.

And I've heard this all before: that if we all gather and sing worship songs, the revival will come.  If we all do social justice, remember the widow and orphan, the revival will come.  If we all tithe, the revival will come.  If we all stick Jesus bumper stickers on our cars and march in the streets, the revival will come.

And don't get me wrong: I'm the biggest fan of musical worship, doing justice, loving mercy, and walking humbly with God.  But the posture by which we do these things, surely Jesus notes this?  Am I to force God's hand by my actions, however holy? Is God's hand something to be forced? Can God's hand be forced?

The trouble with this theology is that suddenly I am god, not God.  This troubles my soul and I do not want to invite this toxic teaching into the lives of my students that will bind them to an action instead of to Jesus.  The trouble with this dude is that he will not listen (he also has a tendency to talk over women). 

I found myself complaining to God as I made my chilli, "Lord, this dude's a jerk."

And the Spirit said to me, "Anna, this dude's my child."

"But he says he listens to you! And I listen to you!  So what gives?"

The Spirit began to direct my prayers inviting my eyes to see this dude as one of God's beloved ones.  And the Spirit invited me to invite Him to speak to the dude, my brother, that he might know Jesus' freedom from legalism, joy, and rest in his soul. That he might have "eyes" that see what the Spirit is doing and follow well. 

And the wildest part was that the Spirit invited me to pray that I might see this dude, not for his offensive personality, nor his well-intentioned legalism.  Rather to see him with such love! Aiya! I'm not even allowed to hold a well-intentioned grudge!  On top of that, I invited God to let me hear whatever truth this dude has to say (which as I pray it, I feel the humility of my soul).  This Holy Spirit's one intense person of the Trinity. 

So wish me God Speed! May I go into this meeting with my gracious Asian American empowered womanly self,  facilitate our time well (Holy Spirit, you have all of two hours to move with power!).  Listen and nod to my colleagues. Speak when the Spirit calls me to speak, and really hear people.

Jesus, your people so crazy (especially me).

I sat there with my palms sweaty.  Prayers to God for the favor of the dissertation committee of four professors gathered (one on speaker phone) and the Holy Spirit's invitation to grant perfect recall were petitioned for.  I took a deep breath.  And sat in on the first of my doctoral students to give a PhD defense. 

Alma* (name changed) has been a student at NYU for SEVEN years to get a PhD in Performance Studies.  One of two Christians in her department, she has worked tirelessly and with some trepidation with an academic department that does not necessarily "get" her as a Christian nor as an African American.  Thankfully she is worshipping at a church that blesses her both as a woman leader and an academic (although this is not usually the case, I have heard from my female doctoral students), even if most polite church folk refrain from asking what a degree in Performance Studies is for. 

I still find it astounding what men and women do for an education in the US: the time and money that goes into higher education is a heavy price.  PhD's typically spend between 5-7 years in their programs only to graduate into the machine of academia which may or may not hire them, depending on need.  Medical doctors will spend 4 years in med school, another 4 years in residency, and perhaps another 2 years in a fellowship before they go into the "real world."  All this with rising debt to pay back to the degree granting institution, and perhaps while working in indentured servanthood as either a Teaching Assistant (TA) or Graduate Assistant (GA).  One of my doctoral students is living on less than $25K a year as a TA. In NYC. Students may be in their 30's by the time they graduate.  All this while trying to attend to the "normal" lifecycle of those around them: dating, getting married, having children, growing in faith and character. All this while racking up huge amounts of debt (NYU's average student debt upon graduation is $65K).  Astounding.

Alma says that it's all worth it: all SEVEN years to bear witness to Jesus' grace in the Performance Studies Department.  Performance Studies, by the way, is an emerging discipline in the humanities that looks at performances (any public display, really) in order to understand the anthropological, social, psychological, linguistical, and gender context of a culture or community.  And I can't help but to know that God has much to say about this interdisciplinary field.

Alma's defense was flawless.  She was calm, articulate, and thoughtful as she navigated through her committee's questions.  Alma is now my first grad student to get a PhD.  She is now DR. ALMA.  I am so terribly proud of her. 

Her next steps: enter the industry that is academia and find a teaching position in a university, begin the climb up the tenuous tenure ladder.  An academic has two chances to achieve tenure and full professorship or else be condemned to the life of an itinerate adjunct.  What a wild system.  May God continue to have mercy on Alma's soul.  Hers and all those who have gone before her and are coming after her.